Sacred Grove

How should we conduct ourselves on  our wedding night?


It is highly recommended that the wedding should take place at night. The hadith says, “Take the bride to her new home during the night.” When the bride enters the room, the groom is recommended should perform wuzu and pray two-rak’at sunnat prayer and then recite the following du’a:

Allahummar zuqni ilfahaa wa wuddaha wa riz”aaha bi; warz”ini biha, wa-ajma’ baynana bi ah’sane ijtimaa’in wa anasi i-tilafin; fa innaka tuh’ibbul h’alaala wa tukrihul h’araam.

O Allah! Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me; and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form of a union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislike unlawful things.

Then he should ask the bride to do wuzu and pray two-rak’at sunnat prayer.

When they are ready to go to bed, the groom should put his hand on the bride’s forehead and pray the following du’a while facing the Qiblah.

Allahumma bi amaanatika akhadhtuha wa bi kalimaatika is-tah’laltuha. Fa in qaz”ayta li minha waladan, faj-’alhu mubaarakan taqiyyan min Shi’ati Aal-i Muh’ammad (s’al-lal-laahu a’layhi wa aalihi wa sallam) wa laa taj-’al lish Shayt’aani fihi shirkan wa laa naseeba.

O Allah! I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful for myself by Your words. Therefore, if You have decreed for me a child from her, then make him/her blessed and pious from among the followers of the Family of Muhammad [peace be upon him and them]; and do not let Satan have any part in him/her.

Is it necessary to have sexual intercourse on the very first night after the wedding or can it be delayed? As far as the Shariah is concerned, it is neither obligatory nor forbidden to have sex on the first night. It is a private decision between the newly wed couple; it has nothing to do with others.

More details on the First Time (from Zawaj.com)

The first time is very special and a man should take extra care with his wife. Most likely his wife has been very modest all her life and will be very shy. She will feel very uncomfortable, at first, about undressing herself in front of a man (that is you) right away.

A wise man said “Women are like beautiful flowers. Their petals are very soft and sensitive so be careful when handling them.”

I have no advice for women about how to treat men because, well simply men are easily satisfied (trust me on this one).

The Prophet (s.a.w.) recommended that on the wedding night the husband should be kind to his bride, and comfort her by offering her something to drink when they meet the first time after the official marriage ceremony (Zawaj.com Editor’s Note: this does not refer to alcoholic drinks, but rather milk, water, juice, etc).

The man should put his hand on her forehead, say the name of Allah (Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim), and pray to Allah (make a Du’a) to bless their marriage.

The groom and the bride are also recommended to pray two Rak`ahs together when they meet on the first day of marriage.

The Prophet (s.a.w.) recommended that the couple should start every intercourse by saying: Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim (in the name of Allah ), and by praying to Allah (making a Du’a) to protect them from Satan, and to protect the child from Satan if a child comes from that intercourse. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “If one of you when going to his wife said: Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim (In the name of Allah ), O Allah! Protect us from Shaitan and protect the sustenance (child) you give us from Shaitan, and if Allah then gave them a child, Shaitan would not affect it at all.” (Al-Bukhari).

The Prophet (s.a.w.) also told the men not to leave their wives before they too had been satisfied, as is their right. The man should not surprise his wife by starting the intercourse suddenly, since that is harmful to her, and the consequences could be harmful to her faith. He should get acquainted with her and should make her feel comfortable instead. “Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.”(Zawaj.com Editor’s Note: this “messenger” consists of sweet words and caresses).

And Imam al-Ghazali says: “Sex should begin with gentle words and kissing.”

The Prophet (saw) said: “The best of you, is the one who is best to his wives, and I am the best of you toward my wives.” (At-Tahaawi: Saheeh )

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