The Orchid

Kissing and Foreplay

KISSING “A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one”! Now, who wouldn’t agree with me on this statement?

A gentle kiss from your spouse can lift your spirits and make you feel wonderfully happy even when you are depressed. A relationship is all about trying out new things to keep away boredom and monotony from setting in. a fun way to do that is by trying out different types of kisses. It can take your relationship to a whole new level and both will be glad that you tried it, since it will bond you all the more closer.

Other areas for kissing may include the partners: Ears Breasts Cheek Stomach Neck Back Eyelids Inner thighs. Shoulders Whatever turns you both on,…

Kissing during foreplay may be on the mouth or encompass other areas of the body. Deep kissing, also, involves the physical contact of tongues and can also imply the tongue entering another persons mouth.

Although kissing is a part of foreplay lets step back and go through many the different possibilities and insights.

1. Let’s Talk about Foreplay. Human sexuality is a God given gift. FOREPLAY IS VERY IMPORTANT BEFORE SEX AND ISLAM ENCOURAGES IT. Why? Because it will InshAllah Make Your Marriage GreatAs far as the methods of mutual stimulation in foreplay are concerned, the Shariah allows the husband and the wife to see, kiss, touch, smell and stimulate any part of each other’s body. Therefore, oral sex, as it is known, is allowed. Kiss on vagina is allowed, too.

2. The only restriction is that no foreign object should be used. The restriction on the use of foreign objects is based on the following hadith. Ubaydullah bin Zurarah says that he had an old neighbor who owned a young slave-girl. Because of his old age, he could not fully satisfy the young slave-girl during sexual intercourse. She would therefore ask him to place his fingers in her vagina, as she liked it. The old man complied with her wishes even though he did not like this idea. So he requested Ubaydullah to ask Imam Ali ar-Reza (a.s.) about it. When Ubaydullah asked the Imam about it, Imam Ali ar-Reza (a.s.) said, “There is no problem as long as he uses any part of his own body upon her, but he should not use anything other than his body on her.” There are also some Fatwa´s which say that the use of sex toys such as Dildo is not allowed even the husband agrees to it.

3.Though masturbation (i.e., self-stimulation of one’s own sexual organ till emission of semen or orgasm) is not allowed, in the case of married persons, there is no problem if the wife stimulates her husband’s penis till the emission of semen or the husband stimulates his wife’s vagina till orgasm. This is allowed because it does not come under “self-stimulation;” it is stimulation by a lawful partner.

4. Our sexuality is intended by God to be neither incidental nor detrimental to our spirituality,but rather a fully integrated and basic dimension of that spirituality.

5. CONTRARY TO THE MINDSET HELD BY SOME, SEX IN ISLAM IS NOT A TABOO SUBJECT, Any maneuver or position that adds to the pleasure of the sexual encounter between husband and wife is permissible and commendable. “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when and how you will“ (not through anus) (Quran 2:223)

6. ABOUT FOREPLAY Men should enter their wife gently, and must give foreplay beforehand. “Let not the one of you fall upon his wife like a beast (camel) falls. It is more appropriate to set a messenger before the act“. Someone asked ‘What is the Envoy O Prophet?’ He said, ‘kisses and words of love.’

7. WHAT DOES ISLAM TEACH US ABOUT ORGASM? A very important lesson based on following hadith; “If any of you has sex with his wife let he be true to her. If he attains his pleasure before her then he shouldn’t hurry her away until she also attains her pleasure” (Anas)

8. The Spectrum of sex. Taken from Dr. John Gray, Counselor, Author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus“Gourmet” Good “home- “Quickie” sex cooking’” sex sex 2 to 3 or 4 3 or 4 20 to 30 hours minutes minutes Once or twice a Once or twice As needed by month. a week. 8 husband/wife Date your wife.Plan far ahead. Requires good communication and cooperation of H & W. So what is the ideal sexual relationship? It is the relationship that fulfills both the man and woman as God created them.


10. CREATING THE MOOD FOR SEX This can be through flirtation with your spouse Complimenting them Each partner should dress in a way that pleases the other. Women can use lingerie, men eg sexy boxer shorts,… again whatever is creative and comfortable Both can use perfume or colognes to build up the sexual tension and attraction

11. MEN ARE LIKE FIRE WOMEN ARE LIKE WATER Arousal Level men women

12. LADIES FIRST, GENTLEMEN When it comes to satisfying a woman a little old fashioned chivalry goes a long way. She comes first. Men get easily aroused, for women it takes longer Men who Give direct clitoral stimulation to woman are more likely to climax Postpone your (mens) gratification in pursuit of mutual pleasure Be patient, respectful, sensitive, and tender Take approach that’s pleasure oriented, not goal oriented Savor every moment Remember its about mutual pleasure

13. MUTUAL PLEASURING Sit on bed with legs overlapped facing each other Or with her back to your chest and caressing her breasts Give each other a massage Keep fantasies centered on your spouse Men practice start and stop sex, get aroused but pull back before climax, then repeat. Man can train him self to last longer

14. THE BATHING OF HUSBAND AND WIFE TOGETHER Hadiths: Prophetic Hadiths: On the authority of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: “I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I. would say: “Leave some for me, leave some for me! 1 She added: “We were in a state of major ritual impurity (i.e. the state of having slept together’”[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

15. TAKE A SHOWER Take shower in the dark with spouse as it heightens your sense of touch Wash each others body gently and sensually using scented soap Let the water splash on your bodies while you make love.

16. SOME TIMING After 21 mins or more of physical foreplay, 92% of women orgasm during lovemaking. Divide those 21 mins over the day Help your partner dress in morning Over the day find excuse to kiss, talk, touch, nibble, hug, fondle, talk sexy,… Take your time, don’t rush. Don’t have sex out of habit Keep it creative Avoid direct contact with her genitals for a min of 10- 15 mins before intercourse.

17. BEST TIME FOR SEX Nice when it is not too hot or cold One is not hungry or with full stomach Both partners have sexual urge or desire or can accommodate each others wants or needs Both partners have energy and are not exhausted with days work.

18. MORE FOREPLAY Creat a strong sense of expectation during day Shave and clean pubic hair and armpits Take a bath/shower or if not make wudu Breath: Brush teeth, floss, use mouthwash Stay Aware to nuances of sexual response Candles: good compromise between doing in total dark and light Have full privacy and not afraid that you will be disturbed.

19. BEST PLACE FOR SEX Although hotels and businesses sell romance, the most romantic place for couples is the privacy and intimacy of their own bedrooms Depending on the living situation, if there aren’t other family members etc., it doesn’t always have to be in the same place, same time. Variety is the spice of life Any place you both fantasize about (but can still have your privacy and intimacy).

20. BEFORE SEX: In order to maintain the bliss and pleasantness of the relation, both husband and wife should acquire the hygienic and aesthetic habits that keep them attractive to one another. It does not behove the woman only to beautify herself for her husband, but this is a reciprocal right. The prophet is reported to have rebuked a man who looked shabby and neglected to tidy his hair and clothing, stating that it was his wifes right that he looks at his best to her, as she to him. Ibn Abbas, a notable scholar of the first Islamic century, stated: Most certainly I am keen on making myself handsome to my wife, just as I like her to beautify herself for me in keeping with Gods saying in the Quran that: “Women have rights even as they have obligations in an 20 equitable way.” (2:228)


22. FOREPLAY ESSENTIALS Foreplay is the equivalent to an appetizer of a passionate meal for two. If done right it can leave you hungry and eagerly anticipating the main course. But, if hurriedly approached and thrown together it can show your lack of skill, ability and overall appreciation of your partner.

There are more details about foreplay in Foreplay+ tab page


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